Not the shortest straw, definitely not the longest. What is it like living with the middle straw?
I came across this concept on another CFS blog.
I had it said to me this week. 'Well there's a lot worse things out there'. Yes there is truth to that. But I wouldn't wish this condition upon anybody.
I needed an outlet. Somewhere to be honest to myself, my family and others who may have interest in knowing what it's like to be stuck with a body limited by 'Chronic Fatigue Syndrome'(CFS). And so, this blog, 'The Middle Straw' was born.
There are other people, other blogs out there. Others like me. Some who are worse off. Some who have recovered. Each of us with our own experience of being stuck with unexplained fatigue and other symptoms with no clear diagnosable cause, no straight forward recovery period and no direct treatment plan.
Anyone can google a list of symptoms, suggested causes, suggested treatments and management plans. Go for it. It gives you an overview but does it really help you understand the reality?
I needed to do this for me. To share what it is like from the inside. To be honest with myself and others. I don't believe it is healthy to hold true feelings and thoughts in, to try to ignore what is going on within your internal thought life, to present a different reality to those around you to what is really happening for you. This leads to mental health issues, I believe. Unrealistic expectations that you can't mentally or physically live up to. This may be a view from my own experience of trying to 'be strong' for too long and others may not share it. But I don't believe someone can hold it all together forever. It will all come crashing down one day when you can't hold it all together anymore.
I've come across numerous other CFS sufferers in my everyday life. Some have the 'just keep powering on' approach, the 'suck it up' approach, the 'won't let it hold me down' approach. It makes me feel weak. It makes me question the severity of their situation to mine. Which I don't like to do. I don't like to compare, to rank severity of hardships and capabilities. But I can't suck it up. My limitations challenge me everyday. I'm frustrated. Sad. Discontent. Unsatisfied. Exhausted. How can life be rewarding when you can't physically participate?
And I know I haven't received the shortest straw. But who is to judge who's diagnosis or reality is the 'shortest straw'? Or the next shortest, or mid range, or the longest. We all have our challenges.
And this is a place where I can share mine.
If you have CFS, let me know what challenges you today as I share mine with you.
If you know someone with CFS, hopefully this will help give viewpoint and help you understand how you can support them.
If you are neither, hopefully this will help you empathise with a collegue, a friend, a family member - someone who you may come across in the future.
They aren't just tired. They can't rest and feel better. They're not lazy or weak.
They're a sufferer and facing a whole lot of unseen challenges.
Hopefully my honesty can help others be understood also.
